agony

it just wont last. Everything does not last. even how sweet it is at the very first start. how happy you were. how many things youve been thru. everything doesnt seems to matter. there is no everlasting or happily ever after like what most people hope for. Welcome to the human world....

True love does not exist. I hate to admit this. But it's true. will there ever be some1 protecting you all the time? think of you? miss u? love u as much or anything else in this world?goes a thousand miles for you? all this question, i throw it back to myself. NO. i myself cant do that, so that expect in return.

What is there in life for me?Until now i cant find my path. I do not know what i want in life.
What to live for. i thought i found it at first. but when days comes by. i realize its another pain in my life. Another pinch of salt has been addded to the wound.

work my ass off. that's what ive been doing. beside that, i really wish to sleep and not to wake up anymore. im tired. im so fucking tired of life.fucking tired of everything.
I cant solve the problem. i just wish i dissappeared. that i wont remember anything or will be remember by anyone. i just wanna let go of everything,
im really so damn tired. inside out.gosh.

if only im not that stuborn. if only im not that bad tempered. if only i could be more understanding, if only i can be patient.if only i can stop comparing. if only my mind can stop functioning. if only i could control my emotion.i guess it might be better. well, i rather be dead.
who am i? what am i? i wanna stay away. i wanna be alone. i just wanna be alone.away from everyone.left alone and die.just let go of everything. FML.

handicapped

Yeap. This is what i felt now. Without transport i didnt get to go plenty of places. Hmmmm...
this is life. We need to give and take. Namaste namaste. I tell myself. Get some sleep and tommorrow will be a better day.

Went to lunch at four season. Nice restaurant. Hope to bring my ah pek there one day.
Dinner, lou sang with my beloved Godfamily. Who had always be there for me....
Had a wonderful time =)

Goodnight, my diary.

Happy Chinese New year~~

Its 3:56 am now and im still awake =) Preparing to watch Madagascar 1 to cheer myself up.
Just had a lil chat with my dearie cous. the one who always has been there. I thanked you for your patience,time and advice given to me.
Again i was lost track. Perhaps i am too tired or too worried. I was happy to be home until i got scolded again. that sucks. then i felt dissapointed on the plan....and i was worrying bout things that had been happening around me. i guess i Think too much think too much.....
namaste namaste....just go with the flow. stay on ur own and make no call n stay invisible.
Life is not what it seems to be...