-feLt sO diFferEnt-

Awake by 12pm today. Having sweet conversation with ken last night. Makes me know him more about himself. Hey like u said…we need time to understand each other right?

I felt empty now. Sort of miserable. Been staring at my computer, u know, the stupid uni calendar… I don’t know why, somehow at this moment I am looking for ward for my studies in uum. I had to admit, I do miss uum. I couldn’t recall my happiness with my friends there for now but at least I know they are there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. This goes specially to my room mate shiau fen. Eventhough we had nothing much in common but deep inside I felt the sisterly love. My coursemates…miss them at class and also the stupid worm (Adrian) who always love to make jokes. Next sem if as scheduled we will be in the same group for two subject.

Gosh! Thinking bout subject, im really afraid of business accounting subject. damN! Followed by asas kewangan. I know how horrible + terrible my counting skills are. Anyhow, I need to face it sooner or later.
Suddenly I have this courage and will in my studies . its like a..WAH LAU…not ike me at all. Maybe theres someone who had burn up the fire in me to do something which seems impossible to me all this while. Facing the truth ahead. I need to take care of myself and not relying on others.

I am now listening to lee jiun jie songs. Maybe his songs play a part motivating me. Well to my buddies out there, u know how songs can really change my mood. Listening it oud now. Yet this songs recall back my memories having fun with michelle, ai ling and also sweet little chin nee. Heard that she got a job. Will be starting work on Monday. As for michelle and ai ling…hehe like usual once they get back to kl, we will somesort of lose contact lo… but funny thing is whenever im upset there sure will be a sms o miss call from her. coincidence huh? Well maybe it is maybe not. I don’t know. One thing for sure I know I got buddies out there in kl!! Even 10 years didn’t see her I know we have each other in heart. Way to go buddy! Work hard for a better life ahead in future! I wish I can do it too!! Haha self motivation! GAMbate!!

- unIdEntIfIed mOmeNt Of wArmtH n sEcUre-

Woke up early today even though slept late. Was awaken by my aunt. Got screwed as she need to use house phone which I left it in my room. Obviously im used to all this. Tug back in bed straight after that.

Tay planned to drop by my house today but she didn’t turn up. At the end, ken came over my place. I was a bit nervous as I had nothing to entertain him at my home. However, everything goes on perfectly. We had some talk and I guess he enjoyed watching funny flash on my computer :P phewww….luckily, if not ill feel guilty for being such a bad host! We somehow was close to each other….

he actually wanted me to join his frens for a movie. Unfortunately, theres some misunderstanding lo which made him thought I didn’t wanna join them ..pai sei aaa…actually im ok with it wan :P

we had our dinner at the pulau tikus market. Yummy :)
hey guess what?! On the way to ken’s car, I saw Alvin!! At first I saw bee ling then it was like…owww..thats Alvin beside her. both of them didn’t realize im there I guess as Alvin was facing the opposite direction. Thank GoD they are together an d happy :)

after that we hunt for Madagascar in cinema :P I was kinda regret for not bringing along my jacket. Somehow, in the middle of the show, I changed my mind. was glad I didn’t bring it along :P if not I couldn’t have felt warm n special :) I was very cold at that time..real cold….then I felt warm beside me...not an ordinary warm..its just different and comforting. Warm from someone you can trust on. Truthfully so far I can only trust a few guys whom I know. They are kwang and ken. Reason? well I duno. usually I hardly laid my trust on a guy. believe it o not….but I can really trust them.

Straight after movie, we went for a stroll at gurney. It was short and sweet walk. Having fun talking to ken I am. Actually b4 this I plan to meet up with choo n mei but its just not convenient to join them lo. Dunno la, long long story . better not tell! And mr felix if u want to know, just drop a call and invite me to supper k. I know u hav lotsa leftover credit on ur phone but that’s not the way to use it :P

Actually tis kwang is a nice fren of mine. Someone close and funny but very long winded for a guy lo….aiyo, change a bit la …from the day I know u till now, duno wan say impressive o not…u really din change at all. Cmon Grow up man!!!

Well I really miss those time we out for supper lo. Sorry couldn’t make it with you and pei ling. Wrong timing ma. I really just had Maggie and I wouldn’t want upset my grandma lo. She will b kinda upset :(

Overall today im very happy lo…speacially watching Madagascar…:) I do hope it wont past so fast…as it’s a special movie to me…wont forget! U guys there..its a nice movie! Don’t miss it :p hope every moment ahead will b like tis…..what am I talking about? Only YOU will understand….

p/s my fren told me about her parents stuff today. Was very nervous lo…wonder what impression they will have on me? Hopefully we can get along.
Ok guess that’s for today
bOn vOyage!!

dEvIlInE signing out…..

-unExpectEd pLeaSAnT dAy-

Today is Thursday, never knew much memorable and wonderful day i had. Im now enjoying the darkness alone….watching some glow in the dark sticker glowing on the wall. What a pleasant moment. ..wish someone special of mine could enjoy this perfect moment together….

I woke up at 11 sumthing in the morning. Pei ling invites me to prangin for shopping but I rejected her. was very dizzy lo. Slept at 6 in the morning. Reason?? helping ken to set up a blog n chatting on some Hot issues….then around noon, we went prangin mall to settle an unfinished business. Date miss tay along…its been along time we didn’t hang out together. So much to tell and update for both of us. She managed to click well with ken. Our mission to prangin is to get some accessories for tay’s coming dinner this Saturday. She will be wearing a hot heart pumping sexy dress on that day! Wow…gosh her hubby it’s gonna drop dead! (nose bleed ma!!) we had fun with her there. Imagine how she managed to crap with the promoter in prangin. Way to go happy go lucky Gal!!
Later on we met up with Samuel at gurney and decided to watch house of wax. I actually wanted to watch Madagascar but too bad the preview sneaks is tomorrow. well..i had to say I got no choice other than watch house of wax.

But I don’t regret watching it! It suppose to b a horror movie but I had another special feeling covering up my fear. J miss tay u know wat rite? Ssshshsshshhs
After the show we went to golden horse for dinner. I had spaggethi …..yum yum ..my favourite….
Samuel was another ordinary guy ive met. Mayb we aren’t that close so I could care more to judge him. But I can tell he is a nice guy to b someone’s fren. After dinner me n ken went to beach for a stroll…another heart pumping moment I had there :P..wouldnt want u u guys to know wat had happened! If u really want to know just dial up 0125598996. ill consider on whether to tell ya o not :P

When I reached home, miss tay called me up. We gossips for a while on what had happened and also get a few serious advice from her. my negative mind started to spin and she lecture me about it. I tremble when I found out the difference we had between us.

All of sudden, ive started to miss my buddies out there..pei ling, choo, chooi mei and most of all chin nee, mich, al and yi yiing….couldnt wait to meet yi yiing! There so much for us to share!
Overall I am very happy lo. A very special day indeed. Didn’t know a day without plan can turn out to be a wonderful day…

-lOng lOst dIarY-

its been so long since i update my blog. was kind of lazy and not in mood. too much things happened in just a nick of time, too much to write, to bare....

i thanked GOD for being so nice to me.helping me whenever i needed it. when i was falling apart, he will shines me thru another way...where i could not find loneliness. most people do not understand this trauma im going thru but i dont give a damn anymore. who really do understand how i felt? few of my buddies mayb....i thanked them for being so understanding. giving me advices,support and was there when i needed u all...sze kuan, al, felix, choo , tay,tokkkie n also sherine....at times u may feel u've done nothing...but honestly, ur present make me felt so much. :) thanks pal..

on my birthday 21st birthday, i was so happy. my frens were there.together with someone whom i tot could b the person for me. and i was wrong. i have been cheated. for my whole life, im afraid of liars....and it happens i met one....how sad n hurt i was. words couldnt express how i felt. all this happen 2 days b4 i leave to australia. my heart was so noisy,not wanting to leave as i don wish to bring along my problems. somehow i did.

first day i stepped into australia...it was a hurtful xperience..i tot things wont b in tis way..and i was wrong. somehow by the end of my trip. i found out time really proved everything. i got the answer to move on with my life. obviously with helps from my frens ( u all know who u are,dont u :)? ) and also my beloved relatives whom are so sweet and warm. giving me the advice and courage to move on. filling my times with activities where i can relax and forget about my troubles. for somehow i din realise what is ahead of me when i go back to malaysia. mayb i was blinded by some devil or even lost.

ken picked me up at the airport. was very nervous as it is our 2cd time meeting each other. somehow we manage to cling along. my first drop was to my godparents house where i can find comfort n relief. michelle is my buddy where NOONe can replace her in my heart. someone who can sense how i felt. supporting me and were there for me no matter what came by me. zI MUI always! ill never forget what u have done for me. at times i admit i didnt express my gratitude having u as my buddy but i do hope u forgive me....... all i could do for u is try my very best to b with u whenever u need me...

i managed to spent most of my time with michelle, ai ling, chin nee( my new found fren) and also ken. thanks for all the support. u guys showed me what i need to face in reality...the way it should be...away from loneliness which is another feeling i fear.

gosh there is just too mush to write. obviously i am not writing things which are too private in here...if u wanna know..ask me ler :P

lets just talk of today...i was cleaning up my room and a VIsitor came by. having plesant time watching some photos. :) then we went for a stroll in prangin mall. imagine ...how many times ive been there in a week? almost 4! but i really had a great time myself....no..im not telling u all in here :P not for now i guess...some privacy needed oo... :P

haha joking nia...actually i dun wan talk much about it. as it really disturb me for thinking of leaving penang on 30 june for uum. ill b back to jungle for my uni orientation week. a separation i need to face n go thru no matter how hard it is. frens telling me not to think much. discourage me from moving on the way i try to choose. i understand why and i don blame them. obviously they just don want me to get hurt. i know that. thanks pal....somehow for now....i took the advice on..just enjoy every moment u have and not to regret it. don think so much. time will prove everything. i admit i easily get attached. blame the zodiac sign THen!! i was told that i fall in love easily..which i hope i am not that type. as it really hurts when u fall. peoples doesnt blif how i manage to get over my past so fast yet move on. hey cmon! i couldnt blif it either! but the fact is this. u may think i was a lame o fool...but thats just me.
different people with different background and life...' know the differences between temptation and love"..ill remember n bare that in mind....

pals....wish me luck....if the road i chose somehow disgrace you...i am so sorry...i need to u to accept me for who i am. im thankfull of having u all..i may not b ur best fren..but ill will never b ur enemy either. as long as u ask ill b there...hopefully i can b someone who u can trust n listen to....:0 im looking forward for a total change in my life once i get back in uni. independant, learn how to take care of myself, especially when im sick...learn how to b alone and most of all learn on how to b true ...waiting for the one......

~xiao long~
REMEMBER..WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON
p/s.....my fav songs of the month
guang liang~tian tang~
ljj songs!!1