-lOng lOst dIarY-

its been so long since i update my blog. was kind of lazy and not in mood. too much things happened in just a nick of time, too much to write, to bare....

i thanked GOD for being so nice to me.helping me whenever i needed it. when i was falling apart, he will shines me thru another way...where i could not find loneliness. most people do not understand this trauma im going thru but i dont give a damn anymore. who really do understand how i felt? few of my buddies mayb....i thanked them for being so understanding. giving me advices,support and was there when i needed u all...sze kuan, al, felix, choo , tay,tokkkie n also sherine....at times u may feel u've done nothing...but honestly, ur present make me felt so much. :) thanks pal..

on my birthday 21st birthday, i was so happy. my frens were there.together with someone whom i tot could b the person for me. and i was wrong. i have been cheated. for my whole life, im afraid of liars....and it happens i met one....how sad n hurt i was. words couldnt express how i felt. all this happen 2 days b4 i leave to australia. my heart was so noisy,not wanting to leave as i don wish to bring along my problems. somehow i did.

first day i stepped into australia...it was a hurtful xperience..i tot things wont b in tis way..and i was wrong. somehow by the end of my trip. i found out time really proved everything. i got the answer to move on with my life. obviously with helps from my frens ( u all know who u are,dont u :)? ) and also my beloved relatives whom are so sweet and warm. giving me the advice and courage to move on. filling my times with activities where i can relax and forget about my troubles. for somehow i din realise what is ahead of me when i go back to malaysia. mayb i was blinded by some devil or even lost.

ken picked me up at the airport. was very nervous as it is our 2cd time meeting each other. somehow we manage to cling along. my first drop was to my godparents house where i can find comfort n relief. michelle is my buddy where NOONe can replace her in my heart. someone who can sense how i felt. supporting me and were there for me no matter what came by me. zI MUI always! ill never forget what u have done for me. at times i admit i didnt express my gratitude having u as my buddy but i do hope u forgive me....... all i could do for u is try my very best to b with u whenever u need me...

i managed to spent most of my time with michelle, ai ling, chin nee( my new found fren) and also ken. thanks for all the support. u guys showed me what i need to face in reality...the way it should be...away from loneliness which is another feeling i fear.

gosh there is just too mush to write. obviously i am not writing things which are too private in here...if u wanna know..ask me ler :P

lets just talk of today...i was cleaning up my room and a VIsitor came by. having plesant time watching some photos. :) then we went for a stroll in prangin mall. imagine ...how many times ive been there in a week? almost 4! but i really had a great time myself....no..im not telling u all in here :P not for now i guess...some privacy needed oo... :P

haha joking nia...actually i dun wan talk much about it. as it really disturb me for thinking of leaving penang on 30 june for uum. ill b back to jungle for my uni orientation week. a separation i need to face n go thru no matter how hard it is. frens telling me not to think much. discourage me from moving on the way i try to choose. i understand why and i don blame them. obviously they just don want me to get hurt. i know that. thanks pal....somehow for now....i took the advice on..just enjoy every moment u have and not to regret it. don think so much. time will prove everything. i admit i easily get attached. blame the zodiac sign THen!! i was told that i fall in love easily..which i hope i am not that type. as it really hurts when u fall. peoples doesnt blif how i manage to get over my past so fast yet move on. hey cmon! i couldnt blif it either! but the fact is this. u may think i was a lame o fool...but thats just me.
different people with different background and life...' know the differences between temptation and love"..ill remember n bare that in mind....

pals....wish me luck....if the road i chose somehow disgrace you...i am so sorry...i need to u to accept me for who i am. im thankfull of having u all..i may not b ur best fren..but ill will never b ur enemy either. as long as u ask ill b there...hopefully i can b someone who u can trust n listen to....:0 im looking forward for a total change in my life once i get back in uni. independant, learn how to take care of myself, especially when im sick...learn how to b alone and most of all learn on how to b true ...waiting for the one......

~xiao long~
REMEMBER..WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON
p/s.....my fav songs of the month
guang liang~tian tang~
ljj songs!!1